"It's very hard to understand in the beginning that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants to quit."
George Sheehan, M.D.
Going back to train for my second marathon last month sounded like a good idea. I thought, "I've done six half marathons," "I've done the White Rock full marathon," "I can do this!" Wanting to get back in shape after taking too much time off hard core training, I tried jumping right into a 8 mile long run one Saturday morning.
It did not go well. Making it less than half way on the out-and-back course I turned around, giving up. Walking along the trail I tried to catch my breath, all the while comparing my running skills, or lack there of, to everyone around me. I felt like a failure and had let myself down. As other runners passed asking if I was okay, I smiled a pathetic smile replying "Yeah, I'm fine. " Keeping up this act all the way to the car I collapsed in the seat and drove my sad little self home. Walking inside the house, I parked it on the cold kitchen tile and sobbed. "I am not good at running anymore!" I wailed. During this pity party the fiancé did his best to comfort me with chocolate milk, ice water, and sensible talk.
Oh, how I hate to talk sensibly during times like these.
Oh, how I hate to talk sensibly during times like these.
Turns out I wanted to train for a marathon not to a run a marathon but to get back in shape. I tried too much too fast and hated myself when I realized I couldn't do it. The negative self-talk subsided as words of encouragement flooded in. Sitting with me, making a new plan for the following week, I was reminded once again why I answered yes to that sweet guy.
I won't quit, but, I will go at my own pace.
2 comments:
Running must first always be fun. Now, when you go for a run, it will be fun. Do enough fun runs, and soon you will start to feel and think, "Hey, I feel like going further today." We were just as proud of you when you stopped and turned back as when you were running with us. And, we'll be there waiting when you are ready to return. I wish for you lots of fun runs in your future.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
Theodore Roosevelt
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